I made the decision and I regretted

But after talking to mummy this morning,

I think I have to stop crying

I can’t make everyone worried

I’m old enough to be responsible for my own words

Perhaps when there’s nothing to do

It’s normal to think of him

Since I can’t selfishly hold onto him

I should selfishly be happy

even though I’m afraid

cuz I felt different this time round

It hurts a lot and I felt helpless

But I have to attend class later and lead my own life normally

Be brave

I definitely can

cuz this is for our own good

I tried to hold onto it too dearly

even when we don’t fit each other

and he shouldn’t belong to me

It’s tiring for us

I sincerely wanted him to be happy too

I tried and I can’t

I’m just a student

so I should focus in school

I need to do self reflection and improve myself

I shouldn’t base my happiness on one person

so when the person is gone,

I shouldn’t lose the ability to be happy

All these shall be precious memories

In order to be happy, I have to remember the good ones

Everything will be fine after some time

It definitely will

cuz I’m jennifer

how i wished our relationship was just primary school classmates

so it really won’t hurt this much

*Thanks mummy and sorry for saying things that I don’t mean it past few days*

Someone once said,

Most guys are gonna want to try something different one day if what they have isnt making them satisfied and making them happy.

Either we find out, or never do.

This statement scares me for a very long time, even till now

It’s not about trust

Perhaps it is human nature

No one is perfect and there’ll always be room for improvement.

However, i’m still expecting happiness

Giving up is not expecting something better

If I have a choice, I will never want to be the one to make choice

I was hoping for a chance

yet I understand the reality well

I may not be the best gf

but I do try to work on my imperfections

Finding a solution to a problem doesn’t help

cuz there isn’t any solution in the first place!

We had different views

Even if we try to come up with and keep to a same solution,

The solution may not be what we want

The problem will only reappear and worsen each time

I can tell everyone I’m fine now

But inside, I felt an emotion that is so unfamiliar and distant

It seems like it’s not first time yet it’s the first time that I felt so hurtful

Being together is happier

but being alone can be happy too

It just depends on how individual choose to lead his/her life

Maybe i need to stop expecting too much when i myself am unable to give that much

It will be just for today

I will not be myself

even after a long bus ride this time round

I can’t find an answer

But I know if I will to give up something,

I really can give it up completely

It’s not our anniversary or any special occasion

On the first on this month (Sept), I have recieved 9 sunflowers again; but not from Mr Goh

Thanks alot(: It really made me happy but I’m happier with the short message

Really really super happy to recieve it on my way home today(:

Happy because of the thoughts and surprise

A lantern that I did in taiwan

My simple wish for people close around me or everyone:

My family, ah yi and family, Mr Goh, Third uncle, Potatoes,

Besties of 9 years: Sam, Jia xian, Ker hui, ming yue

Favvies of 6 years: Pat, Vel, Ijah and mai

My current best uni mates: Fel and rach (my favourite laughing therapy friends in school)

With third uncle

Nowadays, I may be tired/stress but I’m still want to maintain the smile

Perhaps I have poor time management

so that’s why I always felt that I do not have enough time

with all the assignments pilling up and upcoming test

But I’m really glad I have met nice people around me

who always giving me a reason to smile(:

From Sam(9years of friendship and still counting on):

Or am I afraid of losing?

I am not sure now

but I don’t want/need anyone to worry about me

Even if it is a mistake, I want to learn it on my own(: